my mother, a widow, has re-entered the dating scene at 60. i am consistently shocked and amazed at the stories that she tells me, and the way that "grown" men of 60 or older behave on dates with my mother. sadly, what i have learned is that even though these men have been around for a while, they aren't necessarily mature at ALL, and there is often a reason they are still single that has more to do with them than anything. you're right, that older men don't know how to "court" women anymore, or just aren't willing to put in the effort, and there doesn't seem to be much in the way of manners, courteousness, or even tact. and are not looking to really "date" at all just get laid quickly by new women that they meet. my mom isn't looking for NSA sex, and it has been very disheartening that she has had such a hard time meeting a gentleman who would actually like to develop a relationship. that said, don't give up. i think maybe it is hard to meet good people on dating sites. consider joining activity groups like hiking or wine tasting to meet people with similar interests. go out and be active and open to meeting people when out. you sound like a good person who is clear about what you want and i wish you the best in finding a good partner.